I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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