My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize