Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
