oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dicks are not precious.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
