I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
