Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
