He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
