Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
