I feel like abortions should bother me more
it was like eating out sand paper
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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