i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i drank out of a bidet.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
