dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
