And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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