THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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