I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
