Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
