Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
