so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
