ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
