careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
