Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
