Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
