You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
