all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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