He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
