its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize