didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
