we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
