Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
