my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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