the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
