Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
