im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
