would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
