and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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