he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can you bring me the toilet please
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
