ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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