is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
