C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
