i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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