I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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