How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
