you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
