nut hugger
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
