I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
