I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
