Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
