Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
