I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
