Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
