If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just had sex bonerless
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
